the GIRL
wants to be called as cynthia. her first cry was on the 110888. currently studying at NYP, a NURSE to be.
now she is TAKEN by HIM. and yes, finally, she is with a GUY now (:
wants to be called as cynthia. her first cry was on the 110888. currently studying at NYP, a NURSE to be.
now she is TAKEN by HIM. and yes, finally, she is with a GUY now (:
she really LOVES sleep, music, freedom, HUGS, liquor, clubbing, DARLINGS gang, all the swt time she had with *HIM, all the things *HE had done for her & obviously H.I.M !
& Berline
yes, please grant her with:
im despair.
im dishearted.
ive lost someone i loved.
and that *you.
i nvr wan to accept the fact.
i nvr wan to give up.
but i think i got to.
there is this strong will and belief tt we can make it thru 1 LAST time.
i hope we cud.
ytd was a total dwn day.
the day i always wan to avoid.
i admit i was been an irritating gf tis wk.
i apologise.
but i swear i hate myself for been like tis too.
hate myself the most ytd.
knowing things will turn back if i kip pesterin and like gg after *you
but im tt idiot to make things really bad.
okays.
nw i regret.
but do i haf a chance agn.?
i really dun wish to live days without *her.
i noe i can make it thru but im jus nt tt strong enough.
really.
the memories are jus so much.
*she means really much to me.
i dunno how to say anymore.
but one last thing,
*baby,
i wish we cud gif each other 1 LAST chance to mk things right.
i gt this strong will.
this really strong feeling for *you.
9 months.
its really long and too much to let go jus like tis.
things we dun like we can put in effort to change and amend.
ilove*you.
yes i do.
till this bery moment.
i can still cross my heart and say,
ilove*you.!
can *you see my heart.?
my feelings.?
my soul.?
i wish to see *you today.
praying.
sincerely.
hard.
mummy, im sorry. i love you. thanks for ur forgiveness. loves.!
12:34 PM; be my
always
Thursday, June 29, 2006
im so bored.
im so lonely.
*gf din reply.
din msg me at all.
noe nth bout *her situation at msia the whole morn.
nw *she's in spore le.
i dunno.
i felt so out of no where.
i felt deserted.
i felt no love.
i felt really LONELY.
no one cared.
no one bothered.
wad did i did wrong.?
y do i haf to experience tis agn after 3 yrs.?
sigh.
i love *her too much to let go.
*she means too much to me to lose *her.
im used to *her.
but im struggling inside.
im drowning in my sea of tears.
good things really dun last.
promises are really meant to be broken.
swt talkings are only smth to mk someone feel love.
at tt moment only.
if i can choose.
i wished i dun haf all those rite in the beginning so i wun be hurt at all.
tt nite,
tt brk up.
i promise i wun love *you more.
i stil rem.
im stil refraining.
i noe im nt loving *you more.
im jus loving *you as much as i do b4 tt nite.
*you said we are startin all over agn.
does tt means tt *you are suppose to treat me better.?
love me more.?
care for me more.?
but y are things like tis now.?
the only communication we haf (sms)*you are oso lessening them.
*you onli sae we shall meet lesser,
talk on fone lesser.
but *you din sae bout our msges.
im so afraid.
*you nvr noe how actually ur msges means to me.
its smth tt telling me im think by *you.
i still got sm1 to tok to.
i stil gt sm1 to turn to.
now,
even its a askin qns kind of msg,
*you cud be cruel and nt reply me.
*you loved me.
but why are *you so cruel.?
not thinking bout how i feel.
not thinkin of how i wil be worried.
DEAR.!!!!!!
what have *you become.?
i needed *you now so badly.
but whr are *you.?
i noe NOTHING bout ur whereabout at all.
*you nvr reply my msges.
can *you tell me what is the reason behind all these.?
*you say yes,
*you wil msg me.
but..
when.?
i cant tk it anymore.
let me brk dwn today.
im cryin.
in no one's arm.
im all alone.
in this 4 walled room.
and im thiinkin of only one person.
yes.
thats *YOU.
let me have my eternal slp.
tk me to a place i see no tears.
feel no pain.
feel no loneliness.
pls,
lord..
1:17 PM; be my
always
dunno y i feel the tiredness inside me but i jus couldnt get to slp.
im hurting.
somehow.
by wad happen later part of the day.
went to csc jus nw to gif *gf a suprise.
i noe *she wud be busy so i din call b4 gg over.
was meant to be a suprise u see.
so ya.
i reach there like ard 610.
waited til bout 630.
no sight of *her.
no reply.
so i called.
and noe wad.?
-like wad i thot it wil be-
*she told me *she is alrd at tamp.
okies.
i wasnt angry at tt moment but jus kinda disspointed tt my plan was ruined.
nxt,
the angry-est and hurting thing is when *she actually noe im at cac waiting.
*she scolded me.!
i was like.
speechless.
*she says she wasnt in gd mood.
but does tt gif *her a reason to scold me for jus went to cac and gif *her suprise.
i was fcuking hurt.
really.
and im pissed too.
i really dun understand why *she is not in gd mood *she cud actually scold me for things like tis.
am i in the wrong.?
tryin to make *her happy aft a lond tired day.
tryin to let *her feel blessed by hafin her gf fetching *her frm wrk.
i dunno.
after tat,
met *her at hougang mall.
went over to *her place in the end.
we din really tok.
i can feel tt if i talk i wil cry.
and i alrd tell myself tt im not gg to let *her see my tears anymore.
i wan to be the happy cynthia in front of *her.
a gal with no sadness.
a gal with no trouble.
the gal *she had fallen for 9 mths ago.
im willing to hide all my feelings inside jus for the sake of our rs and for *her.
but please,
tell me all these im doin are rite.
before i left,
we tok bout it.
im sorry,
i cudnt help it anymore.
the tears jus dun stay.
i hugged *her and tell *her tt i dun like been scolded jus becoz of *her mood.
im *her G I R L F R I E N D.!!
yes,
i AM.!!
sigh.
there are so much mixed feelings in within nw.
i love *her.
yes i do.
ive showed.
everything.
but what about *her.?
the scoldings i got let me feel tt im no longer tt impt gal in *her heart.
maybe im just thinkin too much.
but will a girlfriend scold *her own girlfriend when *she is not in the mood.?
will *she.?
)':
dun say*you want to leave me for hurting me.
this is not what i want.
all i want is *you mkin things better.
put in the effort.
just like how i did.
and im sure we can last.
with both *your and my effort.
we can see a longer path for us ahead.
shall we.?
loves.
[bingbing] well, perhaps im not really tt strong. moreover, im really weak by nature. smtime i really nid to be showing strong becoz i dun wan her to worry. dun wan anyone to worry. im stil learning to be stronger and stronger. but promise u wil gif my hugs wil i cnt tk it kays.? (: eh, i think jinn use photoshop to do the pic and effects and all. but i dun haf tt software. still lkin for it.hees. misses.
1:34 AM; be my
always
Wednesday, June 28, 2006
wanted to slp til1030 den wake up de but i cudnt get to slp.
boo.
time spent with *her last nite wasnt too bad.
but wasnt too good too.
din really communicate.
after dinner *she used lappy den i jus look at wad *she doing.
hardly gt time tgt.
but nvm.
went over to queen's place with *her to pass queen smth.
we cycled there.
the journey there,
we quarrel.
or rather *she shouted at me.
this time round,
i din cry for tis.
i jus ignored *her.
many things appears in my mind when im alone cycling up the slope.
i was hurt more and anything.
*she seems to be losing patience.
in me.
but in the end *she apologised.
well,
i forgived.
i dunno if one day *she wud read my blog.
but there are really certain things i realli dunno how to tell *her.
the demand in how she haf to treat me like a GIRLFRIEND.
like how *she treats me long ago.
months ago.
im sorry.
im thinking.
i REALLY darn wish tat our rs will be much much better than this.
the feeling of closeness.
the feeling of been loved and cared by *her.
someone,
anyone,
please teach me how to make it all better.
can *she see the effort i put in to make things all better.?
will *she appreciate it.?
maybe *she did but dunno how to show.?
maybe.
*baby,
i needed you.
just like how you needed me months ago.
right at the start.
dun say you want to leave me so i wun be sad anymore.
bcoz the truth is i wil even be more depressed.
10:49 PM; be my
always
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
was suppose to haf lesson at 1pm but i realise tis wk there isnt tis module.
so lesson gonna start at 3 and end at 4pm.
boo.
one hr travelling,
one hr of lesson.
bo liao.
forced myself to slp all the way till 12pm.
jus dun feel like wakin up but im nt gd in slpin so many hrs.
hahas.
last nite jia dar came over to find me.
pei her tok alot of things.
tell her wad i learnt frm the rs i gt wif *gf.
well,
say is always so much easier than doing.
but there are certain things ive made up my mind.
i noe i wil be the one suffering but i gotta to do it.
for the sake of tis rs.
for the sake of *her.
i dunno how long i wil hold on like tis.
but i wil do my best.
be my best.
last nite before slping,
i read thru *her past msges.
tears rolled dwn.
the memories,
so sweet,
so much.
and i realised it had been smtime since *she says *she misses me.
i wish one day *she wil msg me and says *she miesses me and want to see me.
telling me *she cant wait to see me.
all these,
i missed.
what's the difference now?
we used to mit everyday but yet *she still misses me.
but now we dun mit everyday,
but is *she missing me like i do.?
i hate the change of role between us.
i hate the misses i haf when *she dun.
ytd was our 9th monthsary.
i dun blame *her for not tkin it as a special day anymore.
but i blame myself for not letting *her feel it is a special day.
we nvr failed to mit each other on tis date,
but ytd,
we failed.
the feeling of so near yet so far is strong.
ive thinking of her a little more ytd.
but is *she.?
now i wish time cud stop rite now.
stop at our 9th month.
i dun wan our 1 yr to come.
becoz last time we used to haf tis "contract" thingy.
im so afraid tt my 1 yr contract due,
and its time to put a full stop to tis rs.
i DUN WANT.!
i msged *her tellin tis last nite,
but i bet *she fell aslp or ignored.
well,
i just wan to hear smth assuring me.
but its okies.
no blame.
dunno if we are mitin later.
its gonna be a last min arrangement agn.
*she no longer lookin forward to cum over my place.
tue used to be a confirm day we wil mit.
but..
nvm.
i noe we gt our reasons.
sigh.
our 9th mth came so hard.
im cherishing it alot.
is *she.?
iHEARTS*you.
1:31 PM; be my
always
Monday, June 26, 2006
how to trust the one u love with all ur heart.?
i dunno how to trust *gf like how *she trust me.
i dunno how to put in wrds the insecure-ness within me.
ytd i was affected by *her when *she like kinda kip it a secret of mitin dia on national day.
i dunno why *she wud wan to kip it a secret but i dun like it.
i love honesty.
hiding smth is to mk sm1 think even more.
so i love to noe the truth be it gd or bad.
i know mitin dia is onli like to rem the date they knew each other.
and there is nth i shud jealous bout when dia is even attached to a guy.
but i dunno y.
maybe i dun haf tt BIG heart to not even feel nth when i heard *gf might be mitin her.
im at fault in tis.
i knew it.
but im just like tis.
BUT i wun forbid *her to mit dia.
moreover,
i noe dia in person too.
so maybe im jus too petty le.
*gf sae will bring me along too.
so.
anyway,
its stil long away.
we'll see bout it when the date is nearer.
*gf oso sae goin to celebrate ebong birthday with her too.
same feeling.
its just a naturally feelin i guess.
am i right.?
somemroe leo gals are those possesive and sensative.
jus a matter of the level of possesiveness and sensativeness.
ya,
i oso might be celebrating tgt too.
well,
i dun mind makin more frens hurr.
and i think ebong wasnt a bad gal but hope she wil be my fren too.
perhaps she can help mi alot in anyways in the future.
(:
so..
teach me how to trust someone so much.
i wan to trust *her like how she did for me.
but im jus afraid tt one day all my trust wil be betrayed.
once bitten twice shy.
the hurt frm it was really utterly urghs.
seriously,
im stil tryin to change.
as in to be someone more insensative and EVEN more nonchalent.
its kinda hard thou.
i REALLY wish we cud last.
long.
sigh.
i dunno.
im thinkin kinda abit more now.
n i hate it.
seriously hate it.
wanted to see *her so much but i cant.
sigh.
wonder when will i see her agn.
misses.!
HAPPY 9th MONTHSARY.
9:06 PM; be my
always
Friday, June 23, 2006
hey ppl.
im bck.
hahas.
realised i havent been posting for 95298032123187 yrs.
laughs.
was too tired after wrk and too lazy to wake up early the nxt dae to post.
but todae was exceptional.
cudnt get to slp bck so i decided to visit my blog awhile.
and importantly im goin to tell wad a BAD day i haf ytd.
boo.
i was schedule to do RC ytd.
cool.
when i reach.
there's no nuts left so i gt to pack like 60 cups of them.
wow.
prepared corns.
act smart,
thinkin that prepare 4 packets den later no nid to kip top up.
yupp.
so end up i prepared FOUR packets of them.
realised its damn heavy plus the water i nid to prepare at the sec layer of the steamer.
its crazy tt i can carry.
but no choice.
no once to help so.
i did.
but i sprained my wrist.
best.
was damn pissed off after tt.
asked for help but there is crowd and all so.
i solo show.
bring everything over to rc.
lucky jia was there.
sm1 to help mi look after.
den guangyi oso helped.
thanks!
cudnt tk it,
went toilet and called *gf and i cried.
boo.
b4 i cud start,
the cash register spoil.
stephen came to repair.
at first stil cant but when he was tokin to me tt time,
suddenly its bck to normal.
tt point of time we alrd close 1 of the shuttle le la.
wasted.
when everything done,
i start my sales.
in between i drop 3 cups of nuts.
fine.
den i stirred my cheese.
i dunno y,
the glass thingy on the cover came off jus like tt.
wihtout me doin anything other than holdin the handle.
lucky it din brk.
woo.
the best thing happen.
STEAMER NOT WORKING,
wrkin at RC is the sell sweet corn.
but after setting up for like bout 2 hrs,
i stil can see little pieces of ice in between my corns.!
so,
there goes my rc.
i gotta shut it.
kinda happy thinkin tt i can go home.
becoz i felt its realli a bad day.
but when im bck at candy bar,
stepehn ask mi to tk over nadia shift all the way till closing.
meaning i haf to wrk like 10 hrs.
but end up, i onli wrk 9 hrs.
haha.
wasnt in gd mood.
so i jus do wad ppl ask me to do.
at the end,
i down $8.50.
fcuk.
so,
u ppl think am i really unlucky ytd.
shugs.
met *gf last nite and the nite b4.
was great.
things are like better.
and i dun dare to ask for more.
im learning to trust.
to haf faith.
i hope *she wun disappoint me in anyway.
ytd saw tis red mark on *her neck.
is it a love bite.?
from other girl.?
laughs.
sry gals.. in rush, return tag nxt time. hees.! loves.
11:50 PM; be my
always
Thursday, June 15, 2006
it had been somtime since i last post.
well,
alot of things happen actually.
just within a min,
things can change and dun say a day.
rem wed i jus posted,
in the afternoon.
at nite we torn apart.
actually things were okies but becoz of a small thing,
we quarrel.
real bad one.
real hurting one.
things are really bad at tt nite and the days followed.
i cried.
hardly.
badly.
and i thot i wil get into depression.
all my gals were standing nxt to me.
holding on to me titely.
thanks gals.
loves.
on sat,
things were gd i suppose.
but sun,
the feelin when im with *her was realli bad.
as in.
weird.
so before i went home,
i decided to have a gd tok out with *her.
im prepared for the worst alrd.
like i expected,
things falls apart.
we ended.
i thot im strong enuff nt to cry.
not to brkdwn.
but i cant.
i noe im nt strong at all.
the walk back to granny's place was long.
*she followed behind me.
i cried even harder.
the moment i saw *her tears,
my hrt hurts even bad-der.
i nvr thot i wud be bck to her agn anymore.
but well,
we were.
at the end of the whole thing.
*she agreed to start all over agn.
i went bck to *her.
all the way till now since sun.
things are kinda fine.
can see tt *she is kinda compromising with me now.
send me to the bus stop,
do things i think it wil mke me better.
actually,
this is all i wanted frm *her.
ive been giving in everytime by saying "its ok"
but deep in my hrt,
i wanted to scream "its NOT ok"
nw,
i gonna be bck myelf.
im stil goin to give in but i gotta take it too.
*baby,
forgive me if im gonna be stubborn at times.
forgive me im gg to be unreasonable sometime.
im just tryin to protect myself.
but tis wun refrain me frm loving you.
i just want to know the love i want.
the love i long lost months ago.
the one i gt from you right at the start.
since 260905.
i just want it all back.
to me.
only me.
hearts.
[bing bing] thanks darling for been there for me thruout the darkest time of mine. love you lots.! muackies. cya later.! (:
[jia] u ask me not to sad, you oso dun sad wor. no matter what you stil got me with you. jus like how i gt you with me too. you haf really nvr failed to be there man. LOVES.!
[rachel] hey gal.! thanks.! i wil try my best to be happy. (: i hope she wil jus treasure after all these. hope she noe we came thru alot to be jus tgt. (: tk care.! u r always my fren and i'll be there to listen to ur prob if u nid. smiles!
[ping] haha. jus saw you the day before hurr.. im standing up now. i hope i wun fall agn. i dun wan to be hurt agn. i gt faith in everything. (: tk care alrite?
[debb] awww.. im gonna be ur forever love?! hahas. swt. hw's hols? cum ps visit us.! hahas. tk care.! i love you too (:
[sinyi dar] mans. finally tt day the 5 of us managed to gather tgt hurr. such a nice moment. i jus miss sec sch life. sigh. hugs. mit up soon.! HUGGS.!
12:26 PM; be my
always
Wednesday, June 07, 2006
im back home and i got nothing to do.
so make use of this time to blog.
im feeling down now.
no one to turn to.
so i choose to hide myself at home.
i dunno why.
and i dunno how.
to stop makin myself been so sensative.
its me.
its really me.
its just MINE character to be sensative.
is it a wrong.?
its jus torturing me.
okays.
i noe im stupid to always compare the present frm the past.
but somehow i jus feel that,
things shoudlnt change so much.
todae after prac ica,
i was wishing tt *gf wil like in the past,
asking me how was it and all.
i refrain myself frm msgin *her becoz i dun wish to disturb *her frm wrk.
i waited and waited.
so end up i called.
*she did went for brk but jus din reply me.
does tis shows that *she dun care.?
im hurt by it.
i noe i might be unreasonable.
but sorry,
i cant help it.
i try tokin nicely and all,
but maybe becos *she is really too busy,
that;s why *she sound bad agn.
i told *her we maybe nt miting tonite,
and all *her reply was jus,
" up to you."
hey,
im hurt by tis.
thou *she might nt imply any other meaning but ya,
i thot *she will at least ask a why.
never mind.
just take it im petty.
i dunno.
i just simply HATE it when *she treat me gd at tis moment and hurt me badly the nxt.
and i HATE myself for not been nonchalent at times.
*baby,
smtime i jus dunno how to be nonchalent.
smtime i jus nid to be pampered and coax.
smtime i jus nid *you to be a little swt to me and let me feel like im the queen.
smtime i jus nid *you to be alittle kiddy and sa jiao with me.
smtime i jus nid some care and concern from *you.
smtime i jus wan what *you promise me wil come true.
smtime i jus wan to hear *you when i think i nid it.
smtime i nid *your reply to make me happy a little.
smtime i jus wan to hear "i miss you" from *you.
smtime i jus nid *you to gif in to me a little more.
smtime i jus wan *you to zong rong wo a little more.
smtime and smtime.
althou something is i always wish wil happen everytime but i noe it wil only make things bad.
im thinkin.
im compromising.
with all my might and heart.
and i just want things to be best and smooth.
please,
tell me what i did is right.
i want to show others that *you are nt taking me granted now.
my tears jus sometime wun show how much im hurt on the outside becoz its my heart that is hurting.
[debb] okies. soon it wil becum forever love. hahas. den wad bout mine in ur blog? hurrhurr..hees. misses.
[bing] she is sinyi lehs. wad u expect.?hahas. cya later for bball. i miss my bball.! later must play oso hurr.hees.!
[sinyi] finally see ur tag. wahahas. nt bad la. at least now u noe how to use den nxt time wun be so mountain tortise le. hahas. oh ya, are u gg bbq tmr.? i miss you. (:
3:46 PM; be my
always
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
last nite was too tired to post.
dunno why.
i alrd fulfilled my 8 hrs of slp but i stil feel tired bery easily.
dunno issit becoz of my medication.
hahas.
went to cac and wanted to fetch *gf but end up she gt to ot til bery late so i din.
was kinda disappointed and abit of angry.
but i noe i cant blame *her becoz is i choose to go there and wait de.
den coy msged me say she goin to hougang oso den ask whether i wanna ride bck.
before i agree her,
i did ask *gf.
i dun wan *her later angry or wad.
im glad.
i got a bery understanding gf.
somehow i can feel like *she not bery happy but *she insist tt *she isnt.
bleahs.
dear,
smtime i wish u wil feel sour inside when im with other bung.
hahahs.
but overall,
i knew *she trust me and all.
thanks.
nvr been trusted by sm1 like tis b4.
today going sch to pia for bio prac which is tmr.
and i noe it wil be a hard day becoz *she cant msg much le.
*her prepaid card not much value.
sad.
hope *she will miss me a little more.
hope i will receive suprise call from *her.
and oso somehow hope i will see *her later part of the nite.
hahas.
okays.
i gt nth much to sae.
or rather there is but i lazy to type.
now all i want to say is..
i miss to bits, *baby .!
[ wefiy] hellos.! how are you.?! miss you mans. when was the last time i met you hurr hurr.?hahas. tk care alrights? love you.!
[debb] done. linked. hees.! all the best to ur papers.! cya ard soon.! HUGGS.
10:47 AM; be my
always
Monday, June 05, 2006
im a happy little girl now.
im smiling all the way since *gf left my house.
*she brought lots of fun during the stay over last nite.
hahas.
i study and *she use my lappy.
and found lots of hp themes and all.
im really glad that things between us now is much more better.
and i want it to stay this way always kays ?
can see that *she is compromising with me too.
we are meeting tmr.
and oso wed.
wowow...
im a little high now.
well,
meanwhile,
despite all those high-ness,
im oso mugging.
im swaetin like mad.
the weather is really hot and humind.
boo.
too bad,
my kitchen gt no air con and this is the onli part of my hse tt gt wireless netwrk.
boo.
okies.
i think i goin bck to my rm and mug.
without com.
shall do the rest of the quizes tmr.
gd nite everyone.!
i love *YOU.!
[ bing bing ] haha, just suddenly think tt tis blog is nicely done and all and there is nth to hide frm anyone so i decided i shall let u guys link me. but i think i wil ad password so ya..hahas.tk care! miss you!
[ debbie ] hey dear.! suprised to see u here. hees! drop by more often kays? hahas! u can link me and i wil link u too. but wad is ur URL ? hahas. LOVES.
1:36 AM; be my
always
Saturday, June 03, 2006
wanted to post last nite.
but dunno what happen ,
i think is the server down or wad so eva,
i cant even open my blog page.
hahas.
cant imagine i slpt till 12 plus gg 1 today.
i kip diahrrea last nite la,
den mummy dunno gif me eat wad med n i end up slpin like a log.
nt a bad one thou.
ive been missing the time i slp for long hours and nt thinkin of anything.
was suppose to mit *gf at cac den maybe go tao payao wif *her but *she din call me and when i wake up *she alrd waiting for bus to tamp.
duh.
nvm,
shall see *her later of the day ba.
so meanwhile i wil have to pia my bio.
boo.
oh ya,
praying hard tt *gf wil stay over tonight.
den *she can play my lappy and i wil study for bio thru the nite.
hees.
sound fun hurr.
pray pray.
but one thing i wun expect too much becoz i dun wan to be disappointed too much if *she din stay.
sigh.
hope everything between us now is better.
been nonchalent is really great.
i shall cont be tt way.
and maybe tt is the best way for me n *her.
yeah..
tis cumin thurs gt gv bbq nite agn.!
i wan to go.
but provided my ica are ready by wed so thurs we no nid to stay after sch which is alrd 6 to discuss.
if we haf to,
den i cant mk it to the bbq le.
boo.
lots of gatherin comin up.
and im really lookin forward to it.!
*baby, see you tonight. (:
1:17 PM; be my
always
Thursday, June 01, 2006
on mc again.
tis the dunno how many times i gt mc so far le.
my body is getting weaker and weaker.
somtime its ok but sometime it jus want to haf a brk and im to suffer.
tis morn wake up as usual,
was brushing teeth den suddenly vomit and follow by a sharp pain in my stomach.
i sat on the floor huggin the toilet bowl.
den i realise its realli unbearable.
and i start cryin.
wad a shame .
boo.
den followed by diahrrea.
yupp.
all i ate the past few days seems to be out alrd.
went to tk mc and doctor insist i shud go for a scope.
which i really seriously doesnt want.
its painful can.
i told *gf and *she sae will be with me if i go for it.
*she better mean what *she says.
hahas.
now,
my stomach hurts damn badly.
huggin my xiao zhu tightly.
but i wish *she is here to hug me instead.
boo.
somehow i miss *her a little.
okies.
i cant stand it anymore.
im goin off.
tk care everyone.
i miss *you. (:
7:16 PM; be my
always
the GIRL
LOVES & HATES
she really HATES chocolate, ice-cream, hurts, words that doesnt mean anything, empty promises, tears, stress, pressure, irritatation, FATS.
CONNECTED
& Christine
& Deborah
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& Jolene
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PLEASE
adidas jacket
Head tennis racketbillabong wallet
newurbanmale sandals
bikini
puma/nike/adidas bags
more skirts
more tops
new handphone
much fats off her body
been loved dearly by *HIM (:
spend almost 24/7 with *HIM
tanned skin
more time to enjoy
graduate from NYP asap
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