the GIRL
wants to be called as cynthia. her first cry was on the 110888. currently studying at NYP, a NURSE to be.
now she is TAKEN by HIM. and yes, finally, she is with a GUY now (:
will i see *gf today.? ):
wants to be called as cynthia. her first cry was on the 110888. currently studying at NYP, a NURSE to be.
now she is TAKEN by HIM. and yes, finally, she is with a GUY now (:
she really LOVES sleep, music, freedom, HUGS, liquor, clubbing, DARLINGS gang, all the swt time she had with *HIM, all the things *HE had done for her & obviously H.I.M !
& Berline
yes, please grant her with:
hello.
had a busy weekends.
wrk wrk and wrk.
but i love it.
grins.
darling yinjia and bing went genting today.
sad can.
i miss them la.
faster come back.!
first time we din go overseas tgt.
i find it so weird.
boo.
wad shud i say abt todae.?
can i say it was a fucked up day.?
but its not really becoz had great time with eye candy todae.
and aloy.
grins.
but i stil find it kinda fucked up.
not gg to say much on it if not i wil jus blow up agn and i doesnt wan it.
one thing i wan to say,
please dun come and bother about me if u are just tryin to pull me and eye candy tgt or jus to spike me with smth or sm one.
go ahead and do things tt u think u will be happier with.
u think its good for u.
we are just not meant to be.
thanks eye candy for been there to kinda cheer me up.
grins.
u are cute la.!
hahas.!
hope to wrk tgt agn n we can crap agn.
hahas.!
as for things between me and *gf.
everything is fine i suppose.
but there is this weird feeling.
this feeling coming frm me which i doesnt like it.
are we really distant abit.?
or we are just getting into a matured rs,
when we no longer misses each other so much,
no longer wanted to mit each other so often.
and the love is still there.
i suppose.?
how long cud we last like tis.?
i wish it wil be long.
i seriously doesnt wan to try to get used to another person.
its soo tiring.
*gf is gd enough.
if we really were to end,
*she will be the last person hu i will wan to be with.
UNLESS there is someone else out there can give me more than i can give.
grins.
i hate it.fcuked.
2:02 AM; be my
always
Friday, August 25, 2006
Behind the hazel eyes
by kelly clarkson
Seems like just yesterday
*You were a part of me
I used to stand so tall
I used to be so strong
*Your arms around me tight
Everything, it felt so right
Unbreakable, like nothin' could go wrong
Now I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hanging on
Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought *you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But *you won't get to see the tears I cry
I told *you everything
Opened up and let *you in
*You made me feel alright
For once in my life
Now all that's left of me
Is what I pretend to be
So together, but so broken up inside
Cause I can't breathe
Swallow me then spit me out
For hating *you, I blame myself
Seeing you it kills me now
No, I don't cry on the outside
Anymore.
to my one and only:
i wish *you could see what *you do to me.
those nights when i earn for *your touch,
for comfort to let me know i am safe from harm,
i miss them.
now *you seem so distant,
i can only sense *your presence in my heart.
have i changed?
am i asking too much?
just to be loved,
just asked to be held in *your arms is all i ask for.
just to see *you even for the littlest of time,
just to see *you,
that is enough to make me smile.
what are the measures I have to go to,
to show my true affection to *you.?
are *you so afraid of commitment.?
*you seem to run away when i need *you the most,
it is just not meant to be.
i am tired, weary and gotten old
trying to make *you understand,
should I just give up?
but its not true that i do not love *you any less,
oh i do,
so much but what is the point when all my love goes untouched,
never felt by the one i give it up to.
Unappreciated,
that is how i feel.
*baby,
show me *you love me?
thanks colt for writing out my feelings inside.
love u gal.!
1:58 AM; be my
always
Thursday, August 24, 2006
*dear,
why are *you always not there when i needed.?
why are *you not willing to give up some of *your time that will be spending on bed to just acc me for a fast dinner.?
do *you know how disappointed i was just now when i recieve that kind of reply frm *you.?
i noe i should be understanding enough that i *you are tired after a day wrk,
but somehow,
i felt that *you shoudl sacrifice abit for me.?
issit too much from me.?
i dunno.
im sorry if i am been so unreasonable here.
but,
yes *baby,
smtime i just wish this much that *you will be there when i needed.
can the thoughtfulness of *yours when we started off be bck.?
i wish it will.
really.
sorry.
i can be more careless than this.
i rem my paper's date wrongly.
i was suppose to haf HS1082 like later of the day,
but i wrote on my calender tt is on fri.
lucky pris called to asked smth.
if not i think i will be like dead meat.
phew*
thanks pris.
okays.
julian is a ms nice.
always thot she is those kind of bung hu is like damn dao.
but ya,
she is nice after the conver in msn jus nw.
grins.
off to study.
nite everyone.
*gf,
i love *you still.
as much.
1:34 AM; be my
always
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
define love.
define care.
define happiness.
define what is meant for me.
show me *your true self.
show me *your heart.
show me that *you still love.
show me that *you still care.
i really hate it when i start feeling the distance.
i really hate it when i start feeling the coldness.
i really hate it when i start feeling the ignorance.
*baby,
why cant things stay like last week.
times were really great.!
really.
and im starting to love them and wudnt want it to stop at all.
i felt so close to *you.
i felt *your misses.
the tone on the fone and the way *you msged me were so swt and heart feeling.
i love them.!
i really do.
cont pls.
always and forever.
will *you.?
i wish one day *you will read all these. all these days, months of my feelings deep inside. the feelings *you nvr noe, i nvr mentioned. will *you understand me a little more.? im just like a baby, a little kid, hu wants to be coax, to be loved and cared. i want to smile. evryday, every moment of my life. esp in front of *you. and the only person can bring the most beautiful smile to me is *you. have *you ever noe about it.? just 3 simple words, i wil smile. i love *you. so much. that im fearing. i am.
):
12:48 AM; be my
always
i hate it.
i hate it when i couldnt stop crying.
i hate it when my emotions over take everything.
i feel so helpless now.
i feel so lost.
where is the person i nid.?
where is *she.?
why am i feelin the distance between us now.
what had went wrong this time.?
am i thinkin too much agn.?
i hate it.!
i want to slp.
forever.
*dear,
i need *you so badly now.
really.
):
12:23 AM; be my
always
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
Just a gentle whisper
Told me that *you're gone
Leaving only memories
Where did we go wrong
I couldn't find the words then
So let me say them now
I'm still in love with *you
Tell me that *you love me
Tell me that *you care
Tell me that *you need me
And I'll be there
I'll be there waiting
I will always love* you
I will always stay true
There's no one who loves *you like i do
Come to me now
I will never leave *you
I will stay here with *you
Through the good and bad I will stand true
I'm in love with *you
Now we're here together
Yesterday has passed
Life is just beginning
Close to *you at last
And I promise to *you
I will always be there
I give my all to *you
Living life without *you
is more than I can bear
Hold me close forever
I'll be there
I'll be there for *you
Hold me closer
Our love is forever
Holding us together
Nothing in this world can stop us now
Not in the future
I'm so in love with *you.
i wish *you cud really see the true love inside me.
the love i nvr thought of giving it to anyone else anymore.
if even there is this day we have to bid farewell,
i wud nvr love the others like how i had for *you.
have been thinkin alot.
and im clear my feelings for *you.
like *you told me,
smtime things i can solve myself.
yes,
i believe i cud.
but all i need now is *your love and support.
telling me that no matter what,
*you will always be here.
*baby,
will *you do so.?
okays.
bio paper today was a disaster.
screwed.
sub paper.
i hate failing.
but i swear i tried hard tis time.
fcuk.
):
1:27 AM; be my
always
Monday, August 21, 2006
i hate to miss.
i hate to miss *gf sooo much and i cudnt say anything.
i hate it.
so much that i wish i wil jus stop breathing.
i felt so saffocated.
im tired of ctaching my breathe.
*baby do *you noe how much i miss u.
so out of the sudden.
i want to hear from *you that *you are not goin to me,
not going to hurt me anymore.
i hate to admit im weak.
i hate to admit tt words like last nite can hurts me.
i hate to cry over things like tis.
dun i deserve things better than these.?
felt so fucked up nw.
so so so fcuked up.
i wan a brk.
a long brk.
be it i wud even gets into coma.
i want it.
*baby i needed *you. so much.
1:00 PM; be my
always
Sunday, August 20, 2006
well,
im suppose to slp by now becoz i haf to wake up like at 7 tmr.?
but dunno y,
im jus feelin this low.
i cudnt help thinkin of unnecessary things.
i noe i miss *gf.
like alot.
damn alot.
outta sudden.
even thou i just like met *her an hr ago.
and im gg to spend the rest of the day after the family day with *her.
hearing ppl ard me are brkin up with their love ones.
im fearing.
i wudnt wan to end with *gf agn.
not agn.
but sigh.
we haf to.
one day.
these days,
things between us are great.
*she treating me so well.
so much better than im getting used to it agn.
im so afraid tt one day,
*she wud jus t attitude me agn and all.
i think i wudnt noe how to tk it agn.
man,
im fearing.
really.
does everyone need to lose their impt ones in order to learn to treasure them.?
wouldnt it be too late.
if there's a way bck,
its fine.
but wad if there isnt any a single chance anymore.?
will we regret.?
i noe i will.
definitely.
okays.
emo agn.
im tryin so hard to hold bck my tears tonite.
i promise i wudnt let them falls.
nights everyone.
*baby, i love *you. can *you feel it.?
1:11 AM; be my
always
Friday, August 18, 2006
nice blogskin hurr.?
grins.
i love it.
sorry if i hurt u indirectly.
dun let it affect u okays.?
studies more impt.
sry.
cant wait to see *gf ltr.
off to study.
byes.!
3:05 PM; be my
always
Thursday, August 17, 2006
As long as stars shine down from heaven
And the rivers run into the sea
Til the end of time forever
You're the only love
I'll need
In my life You're all that matters
In my eyes the only truth I see
When my hopes and dreams have shattered
You're the one that's there for me
When I found You I was blessed
And I will never leave You, I need You
Imagine me without You
I'd be lost and so confused
I wouldn't last a day, I'd be afraid
Without You there to see me through
Imagine me without You
Lord, You know it's just impossible
Because of You, it's all brand new
My life is now worthwhile
I can't imagine me without You
When You caught me I was falling
You're love lifted me back on my feet
It was like You heard me calling
And You rush to set me free
an awesome song.
imagine me without you.
thnx to berl and
oh ya,
noe you are facing some little probs.
dun be upset.
u gt me.
my ears are always here to listen n my hugs to be given.
grins.
thou u are at bukit panjang and im at hougang.
laughs.
cheer up swts.
(:
yes,
i did imagine how it wud be like without *you.
but i wouldnt want to noe the ans so far.
i wan to love *you.
yes i do.
love me too.
12:56 AM; be my
always
Tuesday, August 15, 2006
okays.
exams nxt week.
there is alot to memorise for bio.
boo.
seriously,
i cant wait for sunday.
i cant wait i cant wait.
reason.?
secrets.
hahas.
i miss *gf.
i love *gf.
no matter wat.
my feelings are stil true and strong.
always.
12:03 AM; be my
always
Friday, August 11, 2006
there are some more pics but i cudnt upload them.
hahas.
nvm.
but overall.
i enjoy alot alot.
thanks to:
yinjia meibing sinyi lynnette mellissa jessica jinn pamela weiting andyO brian victor yiwen yocksoon ramlan yewyew
for turning up ytd for the dinner and movie.
loves.
i enjoy alot.
judith ivy yana jacq joyce mala siti
for the flowers, tarts, presents.
berline weekiat yewyew *tt guy
for the puzzle and flowers.
nvr forget my best yiwen
for the biggest boquet of roses i ever recieved.
loves.
me brother sebas
for the tigger with pampers.
laughs.
and those who wishes me.
thanks all swts.!
lastly,
thanks *gf for coming over in the morning and slp hurr.
luaghs.
now stil slpin la.
im hungry le.!
hugs.
best birthday ever.
thanks everyone.
sry if miss out anyone else.
but i appreciate everything.!
and oso,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO WEEKIAT.
its his birthday too.
thanks for everything too.
4:15 PM; be my
always
not going to go into details of my celebration today.
my fotos wil show it all.
laughs.
to be updated*
(:
1:48 AM; be my
always
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
hello.!
back.
laughs.
was busy with sch projects, exams and work.
busy busy.
tired tired.
but i kinda love tis type of life.
grins.
sry *gf today i abandoned *you to go to wrk.
grins.
see *you tmr alrite.?
(:
quite alot of things happen to me reacently.
there is one thing i will like to say to someone.
dunno if he wil get to read tis but ya,
to you:
im glad i found a fren like u.
someone with EXACTLY same birthday as me,
born in the same hosp too.
its reali hard to find someone like tis.
like 1 out of the 100.
(:
i enjoy ur accompany.
i enjoy msging with you.
i enjoy wrking with u too.
but there is one thing i dun enjoy is to hurt you.
silly boy,
u noe im not str8,
u noe im att,
u noe i dunno how to trust guys anymore,
y u stil wan to get urself into tis.?
i noe i gt no rights to blame u or what so ever,
but i wish i wil stop hurting you.
tell me wad i can do.
i noe u dun feel gd kip making fun of me and my eye candy.
sm more he is ur gd fren.
so wil u stop it n dun hurt ur self anymore.
i dun wan to feel awkward in future in facing u.
i wan to be close frens with u.
jus like how u n berline.
im sure we can be gd frens like tt.
alrite.
im sorry.
i cant accept ur feelings for me.
my *gf still stands a bery impt place in my hrt.
and i stil dun wan to gif up tt place for someone else.
not for a guy i suppose.
im sorry.
no matter wat,
u are still the impt boy-friend i love to have.
lastly,
SORRY.!
alrite.
off to wrk.
yeap.
eye candy.
laughs.
i miss *you.
grins.
5:45 PM; be my
always
Friday, August 04, 2006
emo away.
i want the life i deserve.
*you are badly missed.
5:32 PM; be my
always
Thursday, August 03, 2006
i miss my *gf.
like so much.
i wan to see my *gf.
like so desperate.
but is *she feeling the same way.?
when wil i get to see *her.?
):
emo away-
12:45 AM; be my
always
Wednesday, August 02, 2006
was suppose to mit my clique to wrk on our elective web page.
BUT end up realizing tt my lappy doesnt haf the front page software.
wad a lousy lappy it is la.
laughs.
so they went to e plaza to do but i cant bcoz of my nxt discussion.
man.
i felt like im a little busy woman.
like as thou i haf lots of mitings to attend.
laughs.
last nite was seriously a bad bad nite.
alrite.
im the one hu make it bad i think.
its my fault tt i dun even gif the basic trust to *gf.
im sorry.
i noe i shud had trust *you when u say tt the truth im gg to noe wun hurt me.
i wish i cud really trust *you like 100%.
or even more than that.
but im just afraid that i wil be hurt in one way or another when my trust were taken for granted. alot of things happen all tis while that makes me dunno how to trust.
not only *you but to everyone.
im getting worse.
but im doin is to protect myself.
i want to kip a perfrct image of *you in my hrt.
maybe when the truth is out,
everything were fine,
it wil gain all the trust in me of *you.
still,
i get myself prepared for the worst.
im sorry,
but i hope *you wil understand the fear in me.
and like i swear-ed,
i wun asked *you anymore things regarding tt.
i dun wan to end up quarrelin with *you.
(:
if ever i commited a sin,
if ever i break my biggest promise to everyone,
will i be forgiven.?
will there be someone hu wil understand the reason of my doings.?
i wonder and
im sorry.
met PL ytd in sch.
its like a mth plus since we met can.
we almost cudnt recoginse each other.
her hair is long now and she cudnt recognise me becoz my face like smaller.
laughs.
we had a gd chat.
really a good one.
i miss tokin to her la.
and we missed holding hands in town.
LAUGHS.
thanks for all ur encouragements and all.
i love you.
grins.
my one and only PL. LOVEs. (:
10:59 AM; be my
always
Tuesday, August 01, 2006
today time pass fast.
str8 lessons frm 11 to 4pm.
tired can.
thnx girlfriend for buyin my burger if not i think i wud had fainted.
laughs.
well,
was suppose to mit *gf today but ya,
*she gt OT and*she cant mk it to mit me.
kinda disapoointed.
but understandable.
i wonder when wil be the day we are miting.
4 days havent seen each other.
boo.
*she said smth to me jus now tt makes me think alot now.
were talkin bout *her y not telling me *she mit yvonne and all.
den all *she said was tt at the 3rd wk of the mth,
i wil noe the truth.
man.
wad exactly it is la.
it wun make me feel better by saying this but wil onli makes me feel worse.
and obviously,
im thinkin of all sort of things.
*she says is smth tt wil nt hurt me.
den why cant *she say now.?
grrr.
im feeling so uneasy can.
i wan to noe i wan to noe.!
):
okies.
fuck.
i hate myself.
y must i call *you and asked *you things agn.
fuck.
8:29 PM; be my
always
the GIRL
LOVES & HATES
she really HATES chocolate, ice-cream, hurts, words that doesnt mean anything, empty promises, tears, stress, pressure, irritatation, FATS.
CONNECTED
& Christine
& Deborah
& Ilyana
& Jazz
& Karine
& JinFeng
& Jolene
& Lynnette
& MeiBing
& Meilan
& Rachel
& Shahidah
& ShiHui
& SzeYing
& YinJia
PLEASE
adidas jacket
Head tennis racketbillabong wallet
newurbanmale sandals
bikini
puma/nike/adidas bags
more skirts
more tops
new handphone
much fats off her body
been loved dearly by *HIM (:
spend almost 24/7 with *HIM
tanned skin
more time to enjoy
graduate from NYP asap
MONEY
FOOTPRINTS