the GIRL
wants to be called as cynthia. her first cry was on the 110888. currently studying at NYP, a NURSE to be.
now she is TAKEN by HIM. and yes, finally, she is with a GUY now (:
firstly,
im sorry.
to those hu cared for me.
to those hu truly loves me.
to *her.
i brk my promise tt i wun cut myself.
i cudnt tk it last nite and i was jus so out of mind and i cut myself.
im sorry.
i dun mean it.
i noe the pain.
truly.
last nite i choose to end everything wif *her.
i felt tt i cudnt find bck the clossness.
i felt tt things wun be the same anymore.
i fear tt i wil demand more and more.
i fear tt i wil start to control more and more.
i doesnt want *her to be unhappy to be with me.
*her sigh ytd when i insisted to see *her ytd makes me even more hurt.
seeing me is it that bad.?
i dunno.
alrite.
it was my fault tt i actually find excuses to see *her agn after *she sent me to the door.
but i jus doesnt wan to kip everything to myself anymore.
i jus cudnt tk it anymore.
be it *she can accept not,
im jus like tis.
this is me.
so we actually sat outside awhile and i said everything.
i cried.
its really frm my heart.
it took me so much courage to say i wan to end.
everyone noe my love for *her was so much.
that im really willing to do anything for *her.
but i decided for the sake of *her happiness,
i willing to do anything for *her even if i haf to suffer and let *her go.
i said so much last nite but *she jus kept quiet n said tt i choose the wrong time to say things.
after awhile of silence,
*she stand up and walk away n return home.
leaving me alone.
nt even a hug.
my heart jus stop beating.
i was so dishearted.
i cried my way home.
walkin the path we used to walk.
i sat the park at the place whr we started off.
i cried my whole heart out.
that i cudnt see wad's in front of me.
im jus so blind by tears.
the pain in my heart are jus so unbearable.
im jus all alone.
i cudnt tk it,
i cut myself.
im foolish,
i noe.
but i dun care of anything else.
i jus wish to stop feeling.
*she msged me the first one scoldin me.
second askin whr am i.
third tellin me tt *she is hurt and still loves me alot.
i ignored all the way til i reach home.
i dunno wad to do.
i took so much courage to say i wan to leave *her.
but *her msg moves my heart.
but i really doesnt wan to be hurt agn anymore.
i jus wan to be loved.
liked i used to.
today,
*she msged me telling me tt we are still tgt.
*she is goin to try the best to be my girlfriend.
*she is willing to try *her best to mit my demand.
im moved.
i so much wanted to tell *her that,
" yes,
im willing to be with you agn.
i wan to move on with you ard.
yes,
i love you alot.! "
but am i suppose to.?
i dunno.
i really love *her and i really wants *her.
but is it good for *her and me.?
hu can give me a gd ans.?
perhaps no one except me myself.
no matter wad decission i made,
*you are the only one i love tis much.
always.
[debb] thnx for sayin those cold jokes. im sorry. i was really in bad mood so i was so quiet. act im bery noisy but mus see mood. i promise the nxt time we met up, i wil noisy til u scold me shut up. laughs. hugs.
[bing] love you darling. hahas.
[rachel] =D thanks for your concern. sry to make u worry. misses.
10:47 PM; be my
always
wants to be called as cynthia. her first cry was on the 110888. currently studying at NYP, a NURSE to be.
now she is TAKEN by HIM. and yes, finally, she is with a GUY now (:
she really LOVES sleep, music, freedom, HUGS, liquor, clubbing, DARLINGS gang, all the swt time she had with *HIM, all the things *HE had done for her & obviously H.I.M !
she really HATES chocolate, ice-cream, hurts, words that doesnt mean anything, empty promises, tears, stress, pressure, irritatation, FATS.
& Berline
& Christine
& Deborah
& Ilyana
& Jazz
& Karine
& JinFeng
& Jolene
& Lynnette
& MeiBing
& Meilan
& Rachel
& Shahidah
& ShiHui
& SzeYing
& YinJia
yes, please grant her with:
adidas jacket
Head tennis racketbillabong wallet
newurbanmale sandals
bikini
puma/nike/adidas bags
more skirts
more tops
new handphone
much fats off her body
been loved dearly by *HIM (:
spend almost 24/7 with *HIM
tanned skin
more time to enjoy
graduate from NYP asap
MONEY