the GIRL
wants to be called as cynthia. her first cry was on the 110888. currently studying at NYP, a NURSE to be.
now she is TAKEN by HIM. and yes, finally, she is with a GUY now (:
now in my room.
sitting in front of the window.
drilling outside.
super noisy.
blust music into my ears with my earpiece.
doesnt wan to hear anything frm outside except the music.
but why am i hearing the cries coming from my hrt.?
and why im feelin the pain inside me.?
shudnt i be happy.?
but why am i cryin while im blogging.
it had yet our 1 mth.
but ive been cryin and hurting so many times.
oh boy,
do *you noe its my first time i feel so bad in a just-started rs.
on the other hand,
i wil nvr forget all the happy times we shared.
but y issit tt bad moments are seems to be taking over everything.?
y issit so true tt when things turn bad,
everyone tends to think of the bad things instead of the good ones.?
by doin tis,
its really much more hurting.
but,
ya,
its smth in human beings.
that no one can change it.
last nite i practically cried the whole nite.
cry myself to slp.
it had been quite some time since i did tis.
i think back.
alot alot alot of things.
everything with her.
everything *him.
i feel so guilty.
i blame myself for everything.
for hurting the one hu loves me so much.
and yes,
that's *you.
im so fucking selfish tt i dunno how to understand *you.
im so fucking stupid to get angry with *you when *you got *your reason.
im jus so fucking sucky to be a good girlfriend now.
there is always this super unpleasant feeling in within me.
the feelin that makes me feels that i dun desreved to be loved so dearly by *you.
the feeling that's telling me that *you shudnt had love me and let me hurt *you.
but i dun wan to lose *you either.
i love *you dearly.
really.
i do.
but somehow i just really dunno how to show.
the selfishness,
the over protection i haf in me.
they are just stopiing me and turning me into a super bad gf.
im sorry.
i dunno wad to do.
can *you tell me.?
i wan to move on and on with *you.
i really want.
i dying to want it.
but if things btw us cant be solved,
we can nvr move on long.
yes,
we are fearing over the same thing.
fearing tt *you will lose me,
i will lose *you.
i know *you are afraid of getting disappointment.
im afraid of getting hurt.
well,
i really wish one day all these will go away.
and im sure if all these goes away,
we can be really happy.
pray.
sincerely.
hardly.
):
12:27 AM; be my
always
wants to be called as cynthia. her first cry was on the 110888. currently studying at NYP, a NURSE to be.
now she is TAKEN by HIM. and yes, finally, she is with a GUY now (:
she really LOVES sleep, music, freedom, HUGS, liquor, clubbing, DARLINGS gang, all the swt time she had with *HIM, all the things *HE had done for her & obviously H.I.M !
she really HATES chocolate, ice-cream, hurts, words that doesnt mean anything, empty promises, tears, stress, pressure, irritatation, FATS.
& Berline
& Christine
& Deborah
& Ilyana
& Jazz
& Karine
& JinFeng
& Jolene
& Lynnette
& MeiBing
& Meilan
& Rachel
& Shahidah
& ShiHui
& SzeYing
& YinJia
yes, please grant her with:
adidas jacket
Head tennis racketbillabong wallet
newurbanmale sandals
bikini
puma/nike/adidas bags
more skirts
more tops
new handphone
much fats off her body
been loved dearly by *HIM (:
spend almost 24/7 with *HIM
tanned skin
more time to enjoy
graduate from NYP asap
MONEY